a prejudice

Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.

thinking: to me, prejudice and descriminations come easy...
how can i have underestimated a person so much that i totally put what was said to be totally opposite to what is or should have been done? how can i totally think that the person is wrong in every aspect? twice... not just once.

a feeling of superiority? prehaps, but maybe its becoz i'm inferior...
being crucified for a view is never nice, but being crucified without knowing for what for... that different and infinitely worse...
the shell is strength, the way to acceptance was conformity... now, i hope to put this behind.
maybe now i know why i fall behind, despite being one that was there in the beginning.

i've become him.
a counsellor but never the counselled. devoid of reaction, lacking in self scrutinity.
it is so easy for me to discard and clean the slate, but i can never find out whats wrong with the equation. sidenote: maybe thats why i suck in maths... but i digress.

i'm sorry for those i've left behind. i pity those i carried forward. and me, i've created something wrong, an opportunist and someone alot worse.

self-preservation made me blame others, i didnt see myself... there i go, blaming something else again.

i will continue from here again, i have to be critical about myself now... before i build again.

location: home, on the damn desktop.
person: timothy